


i’ll love you (even when you're gone)

by luvsyong



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Cancer, Chatting & Messaging, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Humor, M/M, Terminal Illnesses, i cried writing this but whatever, its sad, this is a texting fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsyong/pseuds/luvsyong
Summary: "promise me you'll stay.""i promise."(jeno knows promises are meant to be broken.)
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	i’ll love you (even when you're gone)

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy<3<3

**_may 25, 2019 9:24 pm_ **

**jaem:** YO JENO ANSWER YO PHONE!!!

**jaem:** HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO

**jaem:** ercjwejcrkwlq

**jeno <3: **what do u want Loser

**jaem:** >:( hey dont call me a loser

**jaem:** i want to say hi:D

**jaem:** hi :D

**jeno <3: **ok youve said hi now go away.

**jaem:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**jaem:** JENO WHY<//////////3

**jaem:** ok please come back i have something serious this time :D

**jeno <3: **what

**jaem:** i love you :D

**jeno <3: **…

**jaem:** SAY IT BACK!! :((((((((((((((((((((

**jaem:** do u not love me :(((((((((((((((

**jeno <3: **i love you too, idiot. 

  
  


**_may 26, 2019 2:45 am_ **

**jaem:** cant sleep . ://

**jaem:** stomach hurts. zzzzz

**jeno <3: **are you okay?? ><

**jeno <3: **take some advil and drink some water.

**jeno <3: **take a shit if you need to 

**jaem:** wow my jeno is so caring<3

**jaem:** i have such a good boyfriend don’t i???

**jeno <3: **yes. one of a kind!! only one of me in the world

**jaem:** also isnt advil for headaches >>:

**jeno <3: **is it

**jeno <3: **TBH I HAVE NO IDEA :D

**jaem:** WOW<///3

**jaem:** stupid

**jeno <3: **Ibuprofen is used to relieve pain from various conditions such as headache, dental pain, menstrual cramps, muscle aches, or arthritis. It is also used to reduce fever and to relieve minor aches and pain due to the common cold or flu. Ibuprofen is a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID).

**jaem:** what the fuck

**jaem:** am NOT reading that .

**jeno <3: **if ur stomach is hurting bc of menstrual cramps itll work!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

**jaem:** wow :[ thanks so much :[

**jeno <3: **does it still hurt?

**jaem:** a little.

**jaem:** talking to you makes it better<3

**jeno <3: **SHUT UP

**jeno <3: **huff

**jaem:** love u u SMELLY BABY!!

**jeno <3: **ure smellier

**jeno <3: ***barks*

**jaem:** tfw im in love w a furry<3

**jaem:** hes the one!

**jeno <3: **can i come over

**jeno <3: **to smack u ? 

**jaem:** window is unlocked

**jaem:** bark three times and meow once to come in :D

  
  


_**may 26, 2019 3:24 pm** _

**jeno <3: **SHIT

**jeno <3: **did i leave my sweater at your house >:(

**jaem:** heh

**jaem:** yes<3

**jaem:** it’s MINE now !!!!!!!!!!!!111

**jeno <3: **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**jeno <3: **jaemin the sweater snatcher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

**jeno <3: **im kidding:D you can have it<3

**jaem:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

**jaem:** i mean i was planning on keeping it either way ~,~

**jeno <3: **it’s going to smell like u now.

**jeno <3: **yay :) 

**jaem:** STAEOP

**jaem:** ure making me blush ><

**jeno <3: **HAH

**jeno <3: **it’s just the jeno effect.

**jaem:** yeah yeah nvm i take it back

**jaem:** ill make sure to fart a lot doe

**jaem:** for you to smell<3

**jeno <3: **SHUTU P 

**jeno <3: **im coming to take the sweater back .

  
  


_**may 27, 2019 11:35 am** _

**jeno <3: **WTFFFFFFFFFFFFff

**jeno <3: **JAEMINN where r u.

**jeno <3: **mrs. whatever her name is gonna be PISSSSSSSSSSEdDDDDDDDDDDDDd

**jeno <3: **HELLO

**jaem:** HI

**jaem:** sorry my mom is just taking me 2 hospital

**jeno <3: **WHAT

**jeno <3: **WHAT THE ?!?!?!?

**jeno <3: **ARE YOU OKAY????????>?><?<>M<?>M>

**jaem:** dont worry im FINEEEEEEEE

**jaem:** just keep getting nose bleeds . head aches

**jaem:** probably just the weather. cuz i hate rain!!

**jeno <3: **ok. if u Say so

**jeno <3: **COME TOMORROW THENNNN renjun is being annoying

**jaem:** as per usual

**jaem:** to whose surprise

**jeno <3: **EXCufJD EMME??

**jeno <3: **SRY renjun just took my phone

**jaem:** HAH

**jeno <3: **anyways i miss you. so come back soon ALRIGHT

**jaem:** MISS U TOO JENO<3<3

_**may 27, 2019 8:34 pm** _

**jeno <3: **AGhHHH im pissed

**jeno <3: **DO NOT want to do this research paper

**jeno <3: **i simply. do not care

**jeno <3: **SIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**jeno <3: **heloooooooo

**jeno <3: **jaemin dont ignore me >:(

**jeno <3: **whatever. i love u

**jeno <3**: AH. i'm embarrassed

  
  


_**may 28, 2019 10:21 am** _

**jeno <3: **jaemin hello….

**jeno <3: **are you deeeeeadddddddd

**jeno <3: **why arent u at school again??!

**jeno <3: **hellllllllllllllllloooooooooooooo

**jeno <3: **FINE. 

**jeno <3: **ignore me thennnnnn >:( 

**jeno <3: **:(

**jeno <3: **:[

**jeno <3: **are you okayyyy?

  
  


_**may 28, 2019 11:56 pm** _

**jaem:** hi

**jeno <3: **JAEMIN

**jeno <3: **FINALLY i missed u gheez

**jeno <3: **where have you been you ballsack!>!!?!?

**jaem:** i need 2 .. tell u smn

**jeno <3: **?

**jeno <3: **what is it

**jeno <3: **…

**jaem:** i have um. cancer. 

**jeno <3: **wh

**jeno <3: **ure 

**jeno <3: **ure kidding right

**jeno <3: **wow real funny jaemin. knock it off

**jaem:** imm not kidding

**jaem:** haha got the call 2day

**jaem:** we found it late. its stage 4

**jaem:** im going to die.

**jeno <3: **DONT SAY THAT

**jeno <3: **jaemin youre scaring me

**jeno <3: **ure not going anywhere.

**jeno <3: **im coming over. unlock ur window

**jeno <3: **im here for you alright?? ure going to be fine

  
  


_**may 28, 2019 8:04 am** _

**jaem:** wow. HOw lucky am i to wake up next to THe LEE JENO?!!

**jeno <3: **ure lucky.

**jeno <3: **Very lucky mister >:(

**jaem:** i know u just like my soft bed :]]]

**jeno <3: **ur bed is comfy but i like YOU better

**jeno <3: **i wld come over even if i had to sleep on the floor . 

**jaem:** WOW really<3

**jaem:** and they say love is dead

**jeno <3: **hey

**jeno <3: **u know i love you right

**jeno <3: **i love you a lot. <3 just thought id let u kno :]

  
  


_**may 29, 2019 9:50 pm** _

**jaem:** doctor saidi have six months to live

**jaem:** six months...

**jaem:** does that mean i cant celebrate christmas wif u ?? </3

**jaem:** i wanted to make a snowman with u. kiss under the mistletoe. see the lights

**jeno <3: **hey hey hey

**jeno <3**: stop saying shit like that

**jeno <3**: you’re na jaemin. you’re going to live forever. and NEVER leave my side. ok

**jeno <3**: promise me youll stay

**jaem** : i

**jeno <3**: please

**jeno <3**: promise

**jaem** : i promise.

  
  


_**may 30, 2019 4:30 pm** _

**jeno <3:** never thought id say this but we are all just here crying rn. 

**jaem** : dont cry u stupid idiots

**jaem** : im not even gone yet (()))

**jaem:** you’re waiting for me to leavE>?!>?@>?!>

**jeno <3:** no. no ure staying

**jeno <3:** MANNNN

**jeno <3:** id send u a photo of jisung crying but i think hed punch me

**jeno <3:** miss u. miss u a lot.

  
  


**_june 3rd 2019, 5:54 pm_ **

**jeno <3:** jaemin

**jeno <3**: jaemin

**jeno <3:** why

**jeno <3:** why arrrent u getting treatment

**jeno <3:** jaemin tell me this issnt true.

**jeno <3:** jaemin

**jeno <3:** jaemin pelase

**jeno <3:** you promised

**jeno <3**: you promised me youd stay

**jeno <3:** you have to get better jaemin please

**jeno <3:** i love you.

  
  


**_june 3, 2019, 3:38 am_ **

**jaem** : im sorry jeno. im so sorry

  
  


**_june 3, 2019, 10:05 pm_ **

**jeno <3:** is it money?

**jeno <3:** its money isnt it

**jeno <3**: i have money. jaemin get the treatment

**jeno <3**: please

**jeno <3**: i need u

**jaem:** jeno ure not giving me anything.

**jaem:** u need that for college

**jaem** : you wanted to go to art school right? im not taking that away from you

**jeno <3:** YOURE NOT TAKING ANYTHING AWAY FROM ME

**jeno <3**: you. i need YOU

**jeno <3:** i dont care about anything else

**jeno <3:** jaemin please. 

**jeno <3:** i have a job. i can earn money. im okay

**jaem:** no. you know i cant say yes.

**jaem:** jeno please. please dont spend that on me

**jeno <3:** fine.

**jeno <3:** fine you just dont care do you? you just dont care that i care for you ? you just dont care that theres people willing to help you get better. do you not realize how important you are? do you not realize ure hurting me??!!

**jeno <3:** i hate you

  
  


**_june 4, 2019 5:45 am_ **

**jaem:** im sorry jeno

**jaem** : i love you so much and im so sorry im doing this to you

**jaem** : you dont deserve this at all. 

**jaem** : its pointless isnt it? my death is just being postponed for a few months at what cost? your future? my parents future?

**jaem:** i cant do that to everyone jeno. im so sorry im so sorry im so sorry

**jaem:** im sorry this is happening 

**jaem:** im scared. im so scared. i dont want to leave you either

  
  


**_june 4, 2019 8:30 am_ **

**jeno <3:** im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

**jeno <3**: i dont hate u at all im sorry i wasnt thinking straight

**jeno <3**: i dont want you to leave me jaemin i love you so much

**jeno <3**: i didnt mean to say those things jaemin im was angry. bc u dont deserve this. u dont deserve this jaemin u deserve so much better

**jeno <3**: please dont apologizze god

**jeno <3:** its my fault im an idiot

  
  


_**june 4, 2019 4:24 pm** _

**jaem:** it’s not ur fault. it’s nobody’s fault. i love you,, okay? 

  
  


_**june 8, 2019 5:46 pm** _

**jeno <3:** i love you too. i love you to the moon and back.

  
  


**_june 10, 2019 2:30 pm_ **

**jeno <3:** guess what !! renjun got a cat

**jeno <3:** hes wanted one for so long

**jeno <3**: guess what we’re naming it

**jeno <3**: minnie. AFTER YOU :D

**jeno <3**: ill show u pictures sometime

  
  


**_july 1, 2019 1:00 pm_ **

**jeno <3:** jaemin

**jeno <3:** why didnt you tell me you got hospitalized?

**jeno <3**: jaemin

**jeno <3:** please answer ure phone

  
  


_**july 1, 2019 5:04 pm** _

**jaem** : im sorry i didnt want you to worry

**jaem:** my phone hasnt been charged and outlets r strangely hard to find in hospitals

**jaem:** im okay tho!! :D

**jaem** : dont worry about me

**jeno <3:** ill come visit you

**jaem:** u hate the smell of hospitals tho >:(

**jeno <3:** ?!!!!!!!! that is irrelevant

**jeno <3:** IM OKAY i want to see u 

**jeno <3**: miss u. love u. 

**jeno <3**: OH im on my way:D :D see u soon!!

  
  


_**july 2, 2019 12:49 am** _

**jeno <3:** ngl ur hospital bed is pretty comfy

**jaem:** right:D

**jaem:** it’s almost like the one i have at home.

**jaem:** i like it. its jus boring

**jaem:** plain and white

**jeno <3:** how is the food?

**jaem:** .

**jaem:** its ok

**jaem:** i miss fried chicken

**jaem:** and chocolate milk

**jaem:** the chocolate milk in the hospital tastes weird

**jaem:** bring me some when u come by:D

**jeno <3:** will do!!!!

  
  


**_july 17, 2019 11:52 pm_ **

**jaem:** im back home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

**jaem:** my window is unlocked. please come over

**jeno <3:** YAYYYYYYYY

**jeno <3**: coming as we speak

  
  


**_july 29, 2019 4:23 pm_ **

**jaem:** remember the day u told me u liked me

**jaem:** u were blushing so much that day

**jeno <3:** DONT BRING THAT UP

**jeno <3:** i'm embarrassed

**jaem** : dont be embarrassed<3

**jaem:** u were so cute ><

**jaem:** u still are so cute ><

**jaem** : i love u jeno<3<3

  
  


**_august 9, 2019 8:56 pm_ **

**jaem:** gross why am i back in the hospital yuck

**jaem:** anyways we r gonna be seniors soon jen!!

**jaem:** scary

**jeno <3:** I KNOW

**jeno <3:** very scary. im scared.

**jaem:** dont be scared :D

**jaem:** my jeno is the best. my jeno is the smartest

**jaem:** ill send u flowers on that day<3

**jaem:** pretty cherry blossoms

**jeno <3**: ill be expecting to see them!!

**jeno <3:** theyre so pretty<3

**jaem:** not as pretty as you :3

**jeno <3:** squeals.

**jeno <3:** shut up11!!1!!

  
  


_**august 13, 2019 12:00 am** _

**jeno <3:** happy birthday to my favourite person in the world and the love of my life: YOU :D

**jeno <3:** coming over w cake. see u soon <3

  
  


**_september 12, 2019 10:04 pm_ **

**jaem** : i hope i live to see the leaves change colours

**jaem:** i hope i live to see the first snow

**jeno <3:** you’re staying with me forever, remember? 

**jeon <3**: ure livign forever >:( so stop saying stupid things!!

  
  


**_october 31st, 2019 5:32 pm_ **

**jaem:** cannot believe im in the hospital on halloween

**jaem:** there are cobwebs on my bed .

**jaem:** thanks.

**jeno <3:** DO U LIKE THE DECORATIONS

**jeno <3:** yeah u do

**jeno <3:** IM DRESSING UP ill be there in a minute

**jeno <3:** renjun n jisung n donghyuck n mark n chenle r coming 2

**jaem:** IS EVERYONE EVEN ALLWOED IN

**jeno <3:** ITS UR HOSPITABLE ROOM

**jaem:** man

**jeno <3:** WE R GNA WATCH A MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!111

**jeno <3:** it’s gonna be so fun

  
  


_**november 5, 2019 8:00 am** _

**jaem:** JENO!!!

**jaem:** the doctor says im in good condition:D

**jeno <3:** YES

**jeno <3:** i told u so!!!

**jeno <3:** my jaemin is healthy and my jaemin WILL live forever. no doubt. 

  
  


**_november 24, 2019 10:22 am_ **

**jeno <3:** it’s so cold outside

**jeno <3:** gross gross gross

**jeno <3:** i hate it

**jaem** : dress warmly jen!!

**jaem** : i dont want u to get sick. 

**jaem** : remember that one tiem u didnt wear a coat and got sick >:(

**jaem:** i wont be there to take care of u this time, so dress warm okay?

**_december 1, 2019 5:24 pm_ **

**jeno <3:** happy december!!!!!!!

**jaem:** happy december<3

  
  


**_december 25, 2019 8:45 am_ **

**jeno <3:** MERRY CHRISTMAS JAEMIN

**jeno <3:** GUESS WHAT I BROUGHT

**jeno <3:** GIFTS. AND

**jeno <3**: a mistletoe ><

**jaem** : AAAAAAAAAAaa

**jaem:** no u didnt

**jaem** : i love you so much jen!!!!!!!<3

**jaem:** merry christmas my love><!!

  
  


**_december 27, 2019 11:40 pm_ **

**jaem:** what do u think happens after death?

**jeno <3:** i think. reincarnation. or just a restful peace

**jaem** : hm. i hope im a frog in my next life

**jeno <3**: A FROG?!>@?!>?@

**jeno <3**: i hope ure my boyfriend in my next life :D

**jeno <3**: and the many lives after that :D

**jaem** : dont worry. ill make sure of it

**jaem:** even if im a frog!!

**jaem:** itll be the princess in the frog. whatever that movie is.

  
  


**december 30, 2019 1:14 pm**

**jeno <3:** i just got the phone call

**jeno <3:** jaemin tell me it isnt true

**jeno <3:** text me and tell me it isnt true 

**jeno <3:** please

**jeno <3:** please you promised.

**jeno <3:** you said you wouldn’t leave me

**jeno <3:** im sorry i wasnt there with you.

**jeno <3:** i love u jaemin

  
  


_**january 1, 2020 12:01 am** _

**jeno <3:** happy new years jaemin!!<3

**jeno <3:** i love you so much.

  
  


**_january 23, 2020 8:09 pm_ **

**jeno <3:** it was your funeral today

**jeno <3:** everyone knew what a great person you were

**jeno <3**: i miss you so much

**jeno <3**: i cant stop crying im sorry jaemin

**jeno <3:** im so sorry

  
  


_**april 23, 2020 11:00 am** _

**jeno <3**: it’s my birthday today.

**jeno <3**: im legal now!! can u believe it?

**jeno <3**: wish u were here with me to celebrate. i saved you a piece of cake. 

**jeno <3**: its chocolate. ur favourite :D

  
  


**_may 1, 2020 3:35 am_ **

**jeno <3:** it’s so hard without you

**jeno <3:** i miss you more and more everyday

**jeno <3:** i hope youre doing well

  
  


**may 25, 2020 11:55 pm**

**jeno <3:** we graduated today, jaemin! 

**jeno <3**: im so proud of us. 

**jeno <3:** u even got a special mention!!! wow look how special u are :]]]

**jeno <3:** i got your bouquet. the cherry blossoms.

**jeno <3:** theyre beautiful, like u.

**jeno <3:** haha. i miss you. i love you.

  
  


**_november 30, 2020 4:23 pm_ **

**jeno <3**: the chiilliness in the air and the snow reminds me of you

**jeno <3:** im not sure why

**jeno <3:** everything reminds me of u

**jeno <3**: i miss u. as always.

  
  


**_april 5, 2021 2:00 pm_ **

**jeno <3**: the weather is nicer now

**jeno <3:** you would like it. 

**jeno <3:** renjun’s cat is all grown up now

**jeno <3:** minnie almost reminds me of u sometimes

**jeno <3**: her sassy meows kinda sound like you

**jeno <3**: haha, i might just be crazy

  
  


**_december 30 2021, 12:00 am_ **

**jeno <3:** i cant sleep. im thinking about u again

**jeno <3**: it’s stupid isn’t it? how youve been gone for so long yet u constantly linger in my mind

**jeno <3:** i love you, jaemin.

  
  
  


_**march 21, 2022 3:30 pm** _

**jeno <3**: i think im finally ready to let go. im sorry it took so long. 

**jeno <3**: goodbye, jaemin

_not delivered_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> anywayzz i wrote this while in my feelings for absolutely no reason at all HA. i literally cried writing this cuz man death is so sad. WHY HAVE I WRITTEN AB MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH TWICE?????????????????????????????????????????? 
> 
> \-- hope u enjoyed :D have a nice day<3<3


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